Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
