I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
