Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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