worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
