how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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