i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
he thought i was a dude.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
