Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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