Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
