We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Randomize