Whod you bang
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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