what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
