why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
