just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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