omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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