Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
