you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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