She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
