just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
