Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
