Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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