my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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