just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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