someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize