no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
