Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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