You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
