he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
