i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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