I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
