she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
