If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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