I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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