I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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