when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
