You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
