I'm laying in your front yard are you home
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
