So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
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