I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Found your dick twin last night
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
