My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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