My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
