I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
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i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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