my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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