My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I have aggressive nipples.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize