Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
