she was so not down for the gang bang
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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