Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize