I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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