Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
