Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
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CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
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Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I have already put on my inside pants.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize