you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
