he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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