my mouth tastes like poor choices
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Randomize
