Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
