Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
