1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
