What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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