finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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