My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
