I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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