you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
