i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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